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Walshy in Vegas Red Bull Photofiles

 

Professional gamers temporarily quit their day jobs to pick up the m-i-c and drop 16 bars like they were Biggie Smalls. We think they should stick to their day jobs.

Check out their track, produced by BUCKBUCKBUCKBUCKBUCKBUCK (not a typo):

All Got Game MP3 by BUCKBUCKBUCKBUCKBUCKBUCK

If that wasn't enough aural pleasure, check out the Top 10 most dubious tracks laid by other professional athletes:

1. Deion Sanders – Must be the Money

"Must Be The Money" was Primetime’s failed attempt to get a crowd rowdy off the football field. His faint voice rapping over a $100 keyboard beat is good for a laugh at best, but don’t listen to it for very long unless you’ve got a good health insurance plan. It’s guaranteed to make you sick to your stomach quicker than your favorite three-day-old stadium hot dog.

2. Let’s Go Mets – 1986 Mets Theme Song

An obvious rip-off of the ’85 Bears “Superbowl Shuffle”  fails to duplicate the catchy and charismatic performance delivered by the likes of Jim McMahon, Walter Payton, and The Fridge. The Joe Piscopo cameo at the 1:50 mark is the cherry on top. 

3. Chris Webber – Too Much Drama

Other than Webber costing Michigan an NCAA national title by calling a timeout his team didn’t have and dating Tyra Banks in her prime my most dubious C-Webb memory was watching him rap, sing, or whatever the fuck he was doing on this awful track in 1999. Much like his basketball crunch time performances, he’s a wreck on the MIC.

4. Wyclef Jean featuring The Rock – It Doesn't Mather

This  song on its own from Wycleaf Jean wouldn’t be half bad, but any chance it had at being listenable is suplexed to the canvas by The Rock himself. "Yo, this is The Rock kicking it with the Refugee camp. And you're bout to smell what The Rock is cooking"… great, what time is dinner?

5. Manny Pacquiao – Lahing Pinoy

Every Filipino person I know more than knows their way around a karaoke machine. Manny Pacquiao is no exception to that. "Lahing Pinoy" boasts a powerful and dramatic hook (just like the artist himself), but what makes this video awkward is Manny’s surprising statuesque performance and uninterested demeanor in this video. In case the people of the Philippines have no idea who he is, there are plenty of boxing clips throughout the video. Pilipino Ang lahi ko!

6. Tony Parker featuring Rickwell – Premier Love

At first glance this video appears to be a commercial for the French tourist board; however, if you keep watching, you come to realize that it’s no commercial, but an actual music video for the San Antonio Spurs guard Tony Parker. Three minutes and twenty eight seconds of pure crepe!

7.   Dana Barros – Check It

Growing up on the west coast I didn’t get to see much of Dana Barros in action, and until today I didn’t even know he had ever recorded a rap song. I don’t really understand him on this track, but luckily the scenes of him hoopin’ on the mean, cold streets of Universal Studios,  I mean Boston, distracts me from the fact he is actually attempting to rap. This song is pretty bad, but don’t tell that to Youtube user “onyxMOP” who insists “dis iz pure dopeness maaaaan!” 

8. Roy Jones Jr. – Y’all Must Have Forgot

At the height of his career in 2001, Roy Jones Jr.’s "Y’all Must Have Forgotten" takes jabs at the celebrated boxer’s opponents. Roy must have forgotten how to drink water after this recording this video. At  49-0, Roy went on to lose three straight bouts which included being KO’d at the hands of Jamaican boxer Glen Johnson in 2004. After the fight, Roy’s corner cited dehydration as the cause to his 9th round defeat that left him on the canvas for over three minutes. 

9. Ron Artest Champions

So you’ve won an NBA championship, what are you going to do? Go to Disneyland? Not Ron Artest. Ron Ron decided he wanted to make a rap video in the back of an SUV on the 405 freeway with a couple of his homies. I couldn’t make it through this video without getting motion sickness. Shooting a rap video on a camera phone is never a good idea, but this is the kind of video that makes Ron Artest that crazy, quirky, crazy, loveable, crazy character we all know and love. As bad as this video is, Ron is a champion having fun and can do no wrong.

10. Shaquille O’Neal – I’m Outstanding

So many Shaq tragedies to choose from, but this one takes the cake. 1993 must have been the year of the green screen, either that or nobody could afford to get Shaq on location to shoot the video. The only thing outstanding about this video is the warrant for his arrest.  Since Shaq is the only NBA star to go platinum (yeah, I’m not exactly sure how that happened either), we can’t place him any higher than tenth on this list.

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