Tim Lincecum Garth Milan/Red Bull Content Pool

This Tim Lincecum post was a hard one for me to write. Not for lack of content, but rather my allegiances.

You see, I’m a Dodger fan and my Blueness runs deep. How deep? I went to every home game of the ’77 (ugh), ’78 (d’oh) and ’81 (woo hoo!) World Series (with Garvey, Lopes, Russell and Cey), Jerry Reuss once snubbed me for an autograph (true story!) and Don Drysdale’s Dugout was near my boy-in-the-hood San Fernando Valley home.

I would hang out on my BMX bike in the parking lot of that bar with the hope that Tommy Lasagna, Vin The Voice or any one of the players would toss me a crumpled cocktail napkin like one of Mean Joe Green’s sweaty Steeler jerseys, only with less cola and compassion and more pathos and PBR.

As much as I hate to admit it I gotta give a begrudging amount of respect to Tim Lincecum, much in the same way Gaga has to give it up to Bieber (if you’ll excuse me, I need to go kick my own ass for that last statement).

Lincecum’s mechanics have been described as “unorthodox” and his signature delivery “funky.”

Where was I? Oh yes, Timmy (seriously?) Lincecum. While my dear Doyers hope to rebuild in the midst of a messy McCourt divorce, Lincecum rolls into the spring as a defending World Series Champion. With that, here are five reasons why I wish Tim Lincecum would call Chavez Ravine home instead of some Park by the Bay.

The Freaky Mechanics

He’s been called The Freak and for good reason. Lincecum’s mechanics have been described as “unorthodox” and his signature delivery “funky.” He curveball-breaks harder than Nicki Minaj’s… well, you get the point, and the 93-mph of heat he puts on his fastball is even more unbelievable when you see it hurled from his rather slight 5’ 11”, 172-lb frame.

By looks alone, Timmy’s less Big Unit and more Mitch Kramer, but on the mound he’s even, dare I say, more intimidating than the Big D himself.

The Award Tour

In addition to his ring, The Franchise has compiled some big stats during his time in the bigs. Tim’s a two-time Cy Young winner (’08 and ’09), he led the NL in strikeouts in ’08, ’09, and ’10 and had the best win-loss percentage in the NL in ’08 while also leading in wild pitches.

On the way to the World Series Championship, Lincecum threw a franchise record 14 postseason Ks in one game on his way to striking out 43 batters in 37 innings pitched, finishing off with 4 wins in 5 postseason starts.

Just a Normal Dude

He is perhaps the most down-to-earth superstar ever. In the off-season he plays Call of Duty and FIFA with his childhood friend and chills with a French bulldog named Cy.

The Face of Baseball

He is rapidly becoming the face of baseball. Lincecum is only the second Giants player to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated, appearing twice: on the July 7, 2008 and December 31, 2010 covers.

As far as SF ballers go, only the great “Say Hey” Willie Mays has more SI covers with three. Yeah, Timmy’s in good company.

The Heater

Big Time Timmy Jim has his own SportsCenter commercial. Yeah, Lincecum rocks. I love you, Tim Lincecum! I mean, go Dodgers!

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